RV model names like “The Calypso”, “Deer Ridge”, “Cougar” and “Big Mountain” don’t do these majestic lords of comfortable camping justice. Instead, how about names that capture the true essence of camping in an RV?

How about “Stay Inside And Watch DVDs For Days”? Or “Pleather Couch You Can Do It On Twice”? Or “Keep Your Spoiled Only Child In Air-Conditioned Comfort That Defeats The Point Of Camping”? Or “Gas Guzzling Road Pig”?

Don’t those sound better?

Do you ever consider that camping ought to entail a campfire and some outdoor fun? Does it ever cross your mind you paid $40,000 for the RV and another $40,000 for the giant truck to pull it? Was it worth it?

And, just so you know — no, I won’t pack up early so you can move into my camping site before your tee time. Fuck off, RV asshole.

RV HAVING FUN YET? Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends and family. You can say nice things too. E-mail submissions to confidential@prairiedogmag.com (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words. And don’t look down on my tent, buster, or I’ll bust YOU.