QUEEN CITY CONFIDENTIAL by Anonymous
You must see the pattern: you get high on some guy and tell everyone he’s “the one”. A few months later, there’s no sign of Romeo and you have a new so-called soul-mate. Blah blah blah, wash, rinse, repeat. Don’t you see how annoying this is? Do you have fucking amnesia after every break-up?
Your friends and co-workers are tired of your constant boasts of bliss and over-the-top Facebook ejaculations. We’re terrified every time you even mention a new guy because it means you’re about to make us watch you whack your magical instant-love piñata again.
Sure, a few of us really do hope you find true, long-term happiness but at this rate what worthwhile man would take you seriously? After multiple marriages and more so-called “serious relationships” than you can shake a stick at, it’s time to grow up.
You might think you’re love-struck but you’re making us love-sick!
ROMANCE IS BORING Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends and family. You can say nice things too, I guess. E-mail submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words. And the best part? Unlike Facebook, you get to annoy everyone — not just your friends.