Kids In The Mall

QUEEN CITY CONFIDENTIAL by Anonymous

It’s become obvious that I need to arm myself with shin guards and steel-toed boots just to protect myself from YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR CHILDREN. Sorry mom and pop — the fact you birthed a baby (or three) doesn’t mean you own the sidewalks, parks, malls and store aisles, with your behemoth strollers and other humongous child-moving apparatus. It’s like driving a car — keep to your right. Don’t hog the centre line. Don’t park your monster-truck-sized babymonster-mover in the middle of the aisle or sidewalk. Use some common sense. Show some manners and common decency. Realize there ARE other people who’d appreciate using public spaces without needing to jump out of the way to avoid being trampled by you and your children. I’m getting sick and tired of it. And maybe one day very soon, I’m gonna put on my shin guards and steel-toed boots and give you a taste of your own medicine.

A HEART BURSTING WITH WARMTH AND LOVE Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and psychotic hatred of children. You can say nice things too. E-mail your submission to confidential@prairiedogmag.com (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words and if you could avoid harming children, that’d be grrrrreat.

2015-06-11