QUEEN CITY CONFIDENTIAL by Anonymous
You were in line ahead of me, badgering the sales clerk for an out-of-stock selfie stick. Unfortunately that didn’t slow you down; you kept pestering the poor high school student who obviously couldn’t care less. Listen up: no one cares that you absolutely have to take pictures of your face from above. No one cares if your stupid selfies are “only” taken from arm’s length. No one cares — especially the person behind you in line, giving you dirty looks as you snap yet another photo. Couldn’t you feel my eyes lasering into the back of your head? Just stop the selfies. What’s wrong with you, anyway? /Anonymous
FIE WORTH Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends and family. You can say nice things too. E-mail your submission to email@example.com (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words and must be written without a selfie stick. Not sure why you’d use a selfie stick to write one of these. How would that even work? Weirdo.