QUEEN CITY CONFIDENTIAL by Anonymous
There must be a lot of Regina drivers who have two broken arms. Why else were so many reckless idiots careening through city streets last month with snow covering their vehicle windows?
Well, I can’t heal anyone’s bones but I can break them, and if you snow-blind dumbasses don’t clean your windshields off I might punch you in the nose the next time you screech to a stop at a red light — assuming you can even see traffic lights through the ice-screen above your dashboard.
As for those of you who were obviously too broke to buy a snow brush this year — have I got a news flash for you! Now is the PERFECT time to invest in such a handy tool! There are snow brushes in clearance bins across the city, and all you need to get your very own are a few loonies and toonies pulled out of beer-stained sofas or found under the cigarette-burned car seats.
Listen up, bumblenuts: do yourself, your fellow drivers and countless innocent pedestrians a favour, and spend a few bucks on a snowbrush and scraper (and the next several months learning to use it). It’ll save us all from potentially serious accidents caused because you were either too lazy or too stupid to clear the damn snow off your vehicle windows. /Anonymous
AND STOP TEXTING WHILE YOU DRIVE Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends and family. You can say nice things too. E-mail submissions to email@example.com (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words and all snow and ice must be brushed and scraped off before you hit send.