The Last Waltz
Dear DJ: How is it that you create a zone of repulsion on the dance floor? Do you see the radius of emptiness in front of you? Probably it’s because “Head Over Heels” and “True” are not deep cuts. In general, pop hits of the ’80s are not, and never will be, deep cuts. They are shallow swipes along the soft skin of culture and they produce nothing but scabs. That’s why, I’m guessing, the bar is so crowded; no one wants to push into the room where you’re scratching and mixing your way through the first 20 seconds of Casey Kasem’s worst dreams. Not even one Chaka Khan tune. It was so unhip that I was waiting for you to drop some Law & Order beats into the mix. Dun dun. /Anonymous
NO VIBE WILL SURVIVE Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and mean-spirited snipes at honest, hard-working DJs. You can say nice things too, even though nobody ever does. E-mail your submission to firstname.lastname@example.org (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words and entertaining to people other than your cat. No offense to your cat. I’m sure she’s lovely.