To everyone I Facebook-argued with in 2014: I’m sorry. I’m sorry you say stupid things. I’m sorry you have dumb opinions. I’m sorry you share racist, sexist and homophobic links, and can’t tell the difference between a well-written article and a fly-infested pallet of reeking, rotting word-garbage.
I’m sorry you always defend cops but complain about teachers, praise businesses but bash unions, and “support the troops” but want to send soldiers to places where they’ll get killed. I’m sorry you support your freedom to own crazy, high-powered guns but not my freedom to not get fucking shot.
I’m sorry you don’t know the difference between “its” and “it’s”, or between “there”, “they’re” and “their” (I’m also sorry you think “thier” is a word). I’m sorry you hold pot smokers in contempt while puffing a pack a day. I’m sorry you think rich people are better than poor people. I’m sorry you hate animals. And I’m sorry you believe in ghosts but not vaccination.
I’m not sorry you’re a paranoid, persecuted crybaby who unfriended me for pointing all this out. I sure am looking forward to a year without you. /Anonymous
SORRY YOU’RE A JUDGMENTAL FACEBOOK EGOMANIAC WITH NO LIFE Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to share petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends and family. You can say nice things too. E-mail your submission to firstname.lastname@example.org (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words, and unlike Facebook comments, are totally anonymous but can be read by anyone — not just your friends. What a deal!