1. PUNISH THE SLUTS New Brunswick’s Morgentaler clinic is closing because the provincial government won’t fund it. Problem with that is, it leaves New Brunswick women with precisely two hospitals that provide the service. And they’ll only perform an abortion if TWO doctors agree it’s “medically necessary”. Where the fuck the province gets off pushing anti-scientific religious flimflam on women who are capable of making their own health decisions is unknown.
2. PUNISH THE CBC Conservative funding cuts and the loss of Hockey Night In Canada have forced CBC to cut 657 jobs over two years. I imagine this will put downward pressure on journalist wages across the country, which corporate media outlets will like. You know, some people think a world-class democracy would find a way to strengthen its public broadcaster rather than nickle-and-dime it to death.
3. BRAZEAU BUSTED The suspended senator was arrested after fighting with a woman and a man at her residence. He was charged with assault, making threats, breaching conditions and cocaine possession.
4. CAR TROUBLE The United Nations approves sending peacekeepers to the murder, torture and rape-plagued Central African Republic.
5. SASKTEL REVENUE IS DOWN Read all about it.
6. JACKASS POSTS KIJIJI AD, BUSY PEOPLE FORCED TO WASTE VALUABLE BRAIN-TIME ON IT The home for rent ad says no n*****s, no f*****s and no furries. How do furries get on that list? Weirdness.
7. STEPHEN COLBERT WILL REPLACE DAVID LETTERMAN Uhhhhhhh… does this mean the end of his conservative pundit character? I don’t know if I want to see the greatest satirist in television history reduced to a celebrity interviewer.
8. PITTSBURGH SCHOOL STABBER UPDATE He’s apparently being charged as an adult? Sigh. Sounds like a tragic mental health situation rather than a criminal case to me.
9. THE WAR ON SRIRACHA CONTINUES Irwindale, California wants to shut down a Sriracha plant just because its stinky fumes are making residents sick. Pfft. The sweet scent of spicy pepper processing couldn’t possibly bother anyone reasonable. We must fight for Sriracha! Who’s with me?
VIDEO: BEING SUPERMAN This GoPro promotion is pretty good! Metropolis is looking a little run down, though.