6-in-the-morning1. MAYBE DON’T CLOSE RESEARCH LIBRARIES The Harper government, which hates science and scientists, has screwed up again.

2. HARPER ANNOUNCES AID TO PALESTINIANS But $66 million probably isn’t enough to convince people he’s got a massive bias towards Israel, especially when his bodyguards are accused of assaulting Palestinian journalists.

3. PARTING SICK CANADIANS FROM THEIR MONEY ONE PATIENT AT A TIME A Regina woman says changes to medical marijuana laws are “just a money grab.”

4. BEING EVIL AND STUPID PAYS The Conservative Party Of Canada are the nation’s political fundraising champs for 2014. Not sure what the breakdown is between donations from ordinary citizens and the oil industry — with poll numbers in the mid-20s, it seems unlikely to me that the Conservatives would have the most total donors of the big three parties — but then again, Americans give lots of money to televangelists. People are pretty dumb sometimes.

5. THERE WAS AN OIL SPILL NEAR REGINA THIS WEEKEND It happened Saturday morning. Maybe Neil Young snuck out of his hotel room and sabotaged the pipeline. Damn hippies. Damn hippies.

6. MEANWHILE ON EARTH Iran has been invited to join Syrian peace talks; Iran has also stopped enriching uranium; a political crisis continues in Ukraine; there’s concerns and conflict about Olympic security; climate scientists warn U.S. senators that climate change is very, very bad; apparently, showing un-retouched photos of women who aren’t models is now bullying; Martin Luther King gets a Google Doodle in the U.S.; some assholes talked trash about gay people; also, an ignorant bigot said gay marriage causes storms; Canucks coach John Tortorella is in hot water and the Seattle Seahawks are on their way to the Superbowl–and it will be the Superbowl Of Pot. And there will be entertaining personalities!

VIDEO! Sorry, there are no videos on the Internet today. I just spent 20 minutes looking. Nothing!