You Should Drive Out The Back Of A Plane
To all my bros drunk-driving around in white trucks yelling at pedestrians, smashing other cars, scoring coke, jumping nerds and just generally trucking up Regina: I have a great idea for your next awesome adventure. You should totally load your wheels into a cargo plane and then, when that plane is in the air, drive that truck out the hatch like you’re James Mothertrucking Bond. Think how awesome you’ll be as you plummet earthward in a stunt too daring for wimpy hipsters, artists or sensitive city liberals to try. Aw no dude, don’t pretend you can’t do this. You totally can! You have skills (and moose antlers in the cab!) You’ll land your truck safely like a knight on a goddamn white horse slays dragons and saves princesses! Film it on a GoPro and YouTube, here you come! Aim for someplace with rocks. /Anonymous
WHITE TRUCKPREMACY FOREVER Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and sarcastic hatred of trucks. You can say nice things too. E-mail confidential@prairiedogmag.com (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words.