by Shane “Killer B’s” Hnetka
Every October on Dog Blog, I write about one horror movie each day for the entire month. And I usually do a theme for that year. So far it’s been monsters, thrillers, classics, favourites and horror movies from around the world. This year I gave B-movie horrors a chance to shine. Or stink. Or whatever it is they do to entertain us.
So here, in the order that they appeared online, is this year’s 31 Days of B-Movie Horrors.
Phantasm II, Q, The Devil Bat, It Came from Beneath the Sea, Piranha, Tarantula, Prince of Darkness, I Walked with a Zombie, Blacula, The Maze, Night of the Comet, From Beyond, Haunted Strangler, The Shadow of the Cat, C.H.U.D., Donovan’s Brain, Mr. Sardonicus, Carnival of Souls, Spider Baby, Invaders from Mars, Alligator, The Undying Monster, Lifeforce, The Town That Dreaded Sundown, The Blob, The Haunted Palace, It’s Alive, Scarecrows, Dr. Renault’s Secret, House of Horrors and Day of the Dead.
What I Learned About B-Movies
Atomic testing and animals don’t mix — lots of B-movies have atomic animals running amok. Also, it’s best for you if you don’t inherit creeping old mansions/estates. Don’t dump things into the sewers, be it alligators, toxic waste or hideously deformed bloodthirsty babies. The cat will get you. If you’re under 18, nobody will believe what you saw, even if you have proof. Beware of entities from other dimensions — all they want to do is enslave you. Beware of mad scientists. Beware of naked space vampires. Don’t dig up graves. Zombies are easy to teach as long as you have the right motivation. Some maniacs seem easy to kill, but it can all go wrong fast. And chainsaws are the perfect weapon for self defense. That is all.
Great Name But The Movie’s Lame
Every year, there are always some films that just don’t make the cut for one reason or another. Like, I really liked the title but the movie is terrible. Films that didn’t make it this year include Death Bed: The Bed that Eats, Let Sleeping Corpses Lie, The Invasion of the Bee Girls and Basket Case. Also, I had to leave out a bunch of Hammer horror films. Well, there’s always next year.
Shane Hnetka is a Regina film and comic book nerd. He also writes Dog Blog’s weekly “Sunday Matinee” column at prairiedogmag.com.