Pity The Poor Stoner
To the complete and utter piece of filth who decided it would be a hilarious idea to throw a 20-pound rock onto the hood of my car in the middle of the night on Sunday: I forgive you.
After a few days of dreaming up all the wonderful ways I’d like to cause your imbecilic ass tremendous pain, I realized I actually feel sadder for you than I do for myself. No one could do such an unbelievably moronic thing if they didn’t have some serious, serious issues in their life.
So yeah, I’m out $700 or whatever for the insurance deductible, which sucks. But I’m betting a person who does the kind of thing you did is out anything approaching real happiness, joy or the prospect of a decent life in the future.
Clearly, it sucks to be you — and for that you have my sympathies. /Anonymous
STONE-COLD STUPID Queen City Confidential is an open forum to anonymously share petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends, family and strangers. You can say nice things too. E-mail email@example.com (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change the names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words.