Queen City Confidential

Beware The Blinding Glare

QCCTo the driver who yelled “nice bald spot” at me when he zoomed past a few weeks back: you nerd. No bald man over 30 cares that he’s bald. Well, maybe a few bald dudes care, but they wear toupees. Anyway, rather than feebly insulting bald oldsters, you should spend your time at home reflecting on how lame you are and make a list of ways to be a better grown-up. Idea number one: don’t shout at pedestrians when you drive past them. Idea number two: masturbate more often to ease your weird sexual obsession with bald men.

I’m sure you can come up with more ideas.

P.S.: If you were one of my buddies just being an idiot and I didn’t recognize you, sorry about that. If you’re my friend, yelling “nice bald spot” is mildly amusing.  /Anonymous


CAPTAIN PICARD BANGED YOUR MOM Queen City Confidential is an open forum to anonymously share petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends, family and strangers. You can say nice things too. E-mail confidential@prairiedogmag.com (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change the names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words.

2014-08-07