QCCDevil Take The Heinz Most

For years, I’ve been racked by my good old Catholic guilt when asking for extra condiments as I sailed through the drive-through of various fast food chains. Maybe I was asking the wrong way or somehow being unclear in what I wanted? I purposely modified my language. I spoke clearly into the mysterious “speaker system.” Still the same response. I’m not sure I can sit idly by any longer without exploding with rage. When I specifically say, “Can I please get some salt and a few extra ketchups?” how does that translate into two packets of ketchup and six packets of salt? Who needs six packets of salt?!? And how is two packets of ketchup ever enough? WTF?!?!? /Anonymous

THEY GIVE ME KETCHUP WHEN I ASK THEM NOT TO Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about ketchup. You can say nice things too. E-mail confidential@prairiedogmag.com (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words and will be edited, though hopefully not much.