6-in-the-morning1 CAN I INVEST IN THE FOOD BANK BIZ? Because it’s booming in this country. Strangely, despite 800,000 Canadians depending on food banks, Canadians have the seventh-best rate of “life satisfaction” in the world.

2 IT’S A CONSPIRACY, I TELLS YAH Toronto City Councillor Doug Ford says Toronto police chief Bill Blair —who said last week that he’d seen the famous crack video  — is biased against his brother, controversial Toronto mayor Rob Ford. This accusation is hilarious, because Blair had nothing to do with the revelation: Toronto police were ordered to release the documents that establish the existence of a cell phone video of mayor Rob Ford smoking what appears to be crack. Court ordered the documents’ release because this stuff is in the public interest. It wasn’t Blair’s call. It was the court’s.

Therefore, Doug Ford’s pot shots at the police chief are stupid and he is a dink.

This seems like a good time to remind everyone that according to a Globe And Mail investigation (that was defended by the Ontario Press Council), Doug Ford was a mid-level hash dealer in the ’80s. And since Doug Ford won’t admit to it — and it seems like a minor thing to admit to, frankly, since hash should be legal — perhaps Doug Ford’s self-serving opinions aren’t worth much.

And if a lot of Toronto thinks electing hosers like Doug And Rob FordKenzie is wise, that’s okay! Because at least it gets the city positive publicity on The Daily Show.


But seriously, this is a disaster. Also, I’m worried that this poor jackass will die. I don’t want Rob Ford to die. I hope he resigns and seeks help soon.

3 COWER BEFORE THE MIGHTY RM OF SHERWOOD, POP. 929 The City of Regina (pop. 193,100) has altered its annexation plans. Pray we don’t alter them further. Unless you’re the RM of Sherwood. Then pray we do. Because now we’re annexing less land and paying the RM money, apparently. And is there anything else we can do for the little teeny tiny RM? Maybe a nice hot stone massage?

Well, at least we’re getting more sprawl, which as we know is what a lot of developers want. Because it’s still 1950, isn’t it? And we’ve got infinte horizons! Infiiiiiinate, I say!

4 HIV TESTING PUSH IN SASKATOON Sounds good to me. We should have that here in Regina, too. Lots of people wouldn’t think of asking for an HIV test but if it’s offered, that would be cool. Plus, just the question gets people thinking about having safer sex — and that’s good.

5 THE SENATE IS FINALLY GOING TO VOTE ON SUSPENDING SENATORS LARRY, MOE AND CURLY Story with stupid auto-playing video is here. In other news, PM Stephen Harper’s strategy of tossing loyal party warrior Nigel Wright to the lions is not going well.

6 CANADA HATES BIODIVERSITY Of course we do. We’re a petro-state that hates science. We become who we vote for.

AND IN OTHER NEWS Virginia elects a governor today, not yesterday, like I said yesterday; India shoots for Mars; the provincial NDP brings forward a P3 accountability bill; a rebel group in the Congo says it will disarm; more news on that Nazi art trove; Libertarian creep Rand Paul is hit with more  plagiarism charges I guess ’cause dat’s the way Atlas shrugs; Spain opens an inquiry into NSA spying; another day, another dead gunman in the U.S.; and Ireland will hold a referendum on same-sex marriage in 2015.

NEW TRAILER: THE HOBBIT 2 Looks better than the last movie. Still don’t like the “white orc” bullshit they added to the story. Then again, this is from the director who cut the best part of Lord Of The Rings — the scouring of the Shire — from his movie.