6-in-the-morningSext 1 LEADER-POST EDITORIAL BOARD A BUNCH OF SURFACE-SCRATCHERS “While we disagree with the federal government’s insistence it will only help finance a P3 project – the upgrade is after all required because of new federal environmental laws that take effect in 2016 – the city is right to take advantage of the $58 million on offer,” they write, which is sort of like explaining apologetically to a starving person the reasons that eating a shit sandwich is better for them than nothing at all.


3 WEINER RISES AGAIN Anthony Weiner, a carnival barker who learned to speak socialism and is now running for mayor of New York City, had a deeper showing-his-dick-to-women-on-the-internet problem than initially thought, and nobody voting in New York seems to really care, possibly because powerful men behaving badly is totally normal.

4 SNOWDEN DIGS IN For the foreseeable future, NSA leaker Edward Snowden will remain in Russia, apparently on Putin’s proviso that Snowden “stops leaking NSA secrets,” which is a pretty hilariously hollow gesture on Putin’s part.

5 UP FROM THE GROUND CAME A BUBBLIN’ CRUDE I guess the oil sands are, uh, leaking? Whatever that means? (Oh, it means that Canadian Natural Resources Ltd. was pumping a shitload of steam into the ground and shooting watery bitumen up through the surface, which is a pretty normal oil industry practice? Good to know.)

6 BRUTAL BOXER GETS OUTSTANDING OBIT The New York Times’ obituary of Emile Griffith, a gay boxer who, in 1962, captured the welterweight title at Madison Square Garden by beating his opponent so badly that the dude died in the hospital less than two weeks later, is a must-read.