6-in-the-morning1 WE’RE NUMBER 11 Canada used to be the world’s most developed country. Now we’ve fallen out of the Top 10. And when you adjust for gender equality, we plummet to 18. Not a surprise–the country’s been heading in the wrong direction — cuts to social programs, education and E.I. — for decades. This is an inevitable consequence of years of bad public policy. I’ve always wanted to live in a country where people get excited talking about public investments in universities, science and the arts, and understand that you’ll never get that through endless tax cuts. I wish more Canadians shared my outlook.

2 LET ‘EM STAY Two Regina students facing deportation for maliciously working at Walmart and stealing jobs from hungry Canadians or whatever it was they did that was so bad should benefit from changes to international student regulations. Will they?

3 REFORM ALL ROBOTS Elections Canada recommends legal reforms to stop this robocall nonsense. They’ve also recommended charges be laid.

4 ROCKING THE DEBT Canadians are wallowing in debt. Wallowing!

5 POPE FRANK: COLLABORATOR? The accusations and denials blossom. I haven’t got to it yet but this column by the Globe And Mail’s Doug Saunders might be the piece to read on the topic. Also in pope news: apparently cardinal Marc Ouellet came close to becoming pope. Probably best that he didn’t, since a Canadian pope would lead to everyone on Dog Blog writing snotty things that would make beloved commentator Barb’s head essplode.

6 STUDY SAYS LIBERATION TREATMENT DOESN’T LIBERATE MUCH Hmm. Well, that sucks ass.

HAPPY FRIDAY! LET’S ALL HAVE THE LIVING SHIT SCARED OUT OF US The horrible red band trailer for the reportedly good Evil Dead remake is SUPER GORY and has at least one nightmare-inducing scene. Those eyes! Those awful, awful yellow eyes! Aiiieeeeeee! This went online a couple months back but somehow I missed it. Here it is now! DON’T WATCH IT IF YOU DON’T LIKE GRUESOME, AWFUL, SCARY THINGS. Because it has such things.