1 HA HA TORONTO, YOU SUCK Canada’s most awful, stupid mayor won his appeal and gets to stay in office. Wooo! Bet he’ll win re-election too (ha ha, no). Okay, to be serious — SRS! — for a moment, this ruling probably does serve democracy. The only reason Ford was ordered out of office was that the original judge determined he didn’t have any latitude in his sentence once he’d determined Ford had violated conflict of interest laws (see the problem with mandatory sentences now, people?). So those laws really need to be cleaned up. But if there’s a larger moral to the story, it’s this: when voters elect a jackass, voters have to deal with the consequences. Also, the forces of decency need to develop electable candidates.

2 OH RUSSIA, YOU SUCK SO MUCH IT ISN’T FUNNY Ugh. Too bad the country’s a hotbed of bigoted gay-haters. Also too bad the Russian Orthodox church is so committed to this bigotry. Not very Christian of them. Not good business, either: how many potential Christians are walking away from religion altogether over this nonsense?


4 WAIT, RYAN MEILI IS PERSONALLY OPPOSED TO ABORTION? Whaaat? That’s weird. Well, I’ve said there’s nothing wrong with being personally opposed to abortion. It’s just kind of silly. But hey, as long as you’re not pushing your magical beliefs on the rest of us, go, um, nuts I guess. But I’m still surprised an NDP leadership candidate — and someone who so far has seemed like a really good candidate — would have such a super flaky stance.

5 THE CONSERVATIVES LIED They said killing the firearm registry would save more than a billion dollars. But they knew the actual costs were in the $2 million a year range. They’re dirty rotten lying liars. Oh wait. It says here that the Conservative government is running a nearly $2 billion deficit this year. Well maybe they just got the numbers mixed up. I apologize for calling them shameless fucking liars.

6 IT’S JUST A DIRTY RUMOUR UNTIL IT’S CONFIRMED BY LUCASFILM Well, the Internet is really taking this report (from yesterday, yes, this is old news) about J.J. Abrams directing a new Star Wars movie seriously. I want confirmation, and then I’ll weigh in with my thoughts which will be, *shrug* should be good but I’m a little scared of Abrams — he seems kind of scattered. Let’s be honest: after a great first half, the second chunk of the last Star Trek movie — everything after Vulcan — was pretty bad. But hey, look at this: a real-life tractor beam!

LOOK! It’s a dog! Walking a horse!