YOUR HOARDING’S GETTING BORIN
To my dear hoarder friend: you have a whole army of friends on standby waiting to pull you out from under your pile of crap, but you just won’t go. You think you’re afraid of moving all your shit but it’s deeper than that. In getting rid of all the stuff that weighs you down you could also get rid of the story that goes with it: the heartache, the inertia, the false sense of protection from the world. This is not good for you. The bad feng shui alone would have killed a normal person years ago. Next time an opportunity to move comes up, you’d better take it. Give us any guff and we’re going to shoot you with a tranquilizer dart and drag you out. You’ve been warned. /Anonymous
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LIKE A PIG ON ICE HISSING AT EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO HELP Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously over-share their stories and feelings: we suggest true tales of failed romance and exasperating interpersonal situations, rants about trivial pet peeves and petty injustices, constructive criticism for complete strangers or even anonymous gratitude for something nice someone did. In a pinch we’ll even print secret messages to your friends. E-mail confidential@prairiedogmag.com (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change all the names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words long and will be edited though hopefully not much.
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