Ass-douche conservatives across Canada popped Jesus-boners* this afternoon thanks to Parliament wasting an hour of its time debating an idiotic motion by irritatingly named MP Stephen Woodworth.

Woodworth’s motion calls for a special parliamentary committe to be struck to examine when human life begins. Bah. The Conservative backbencher, who opposes legal abortion, asserts this is not a sneaky back-door route to putting restrictions on abortion. His assertion, of course, is widely viewed as baloney — why else would an anti-abortion politician bring a contentious motion like this forward?

Anyway, CBC’s Kady O’Malley live-blogged the debate. You can read that here. There’ll be one more debate on this joke of a motion which no one, not even the government, supports, and then it will be mercifully aborted.

But this gives me another chance to say True Things.

The world has plenty of real and pressing crises — environmental degradation, poverty, war, homelessness and hunger all come to mind. Those who fixate** on phony “problems” that require no personal sacrifice or change on their part probably do so to compensate for their own total moral laziness. Or just because they’re fuckos.

And anyway, if obsessed anti-abortionists got their way (they won’t, but if), next up would be making birth control, homosexuality, divorce, premarital sex and adultery at best difficult and ideally illegal. And way down the road we could have blasphemy trials just like the good old days!

They all need to knock it off. There are real problems. Go fix those.

*Jesus says DO NOT LIKE

**Mandatory caveat: there’s nothing wrong with being personally opposed to abortion. No one likes abortion. Abortion is not a recreational activity. But it needs to remain legal. The best way to reduce abortion rates, according to motherfucking facts, is to promote sex education, affordable birth control, and income support and national daycare programs to help out single parents. It is fucking rich that the Conservatives, who killed national daycare (which people should’ve been fucking outraged over, but whatevs, voters, whatevs) are the party with the highest percentage of bossy, moralizing, holier-than-thou jackasses.You have to wonder whether some of them give even the smallest shit about humans AFTER they’re born.