1 FLUUUSHHHH The Canadian economy lost 2,800 jobs in February. Hopefully the upcoming federal budget will lay off thousands of civil servants to save the economy and create more jobs. What? Come on. It totally makes sense you guys. Don’t argue with economics.
2 REACH FOR THE TOP The Star-Phoenix’s Joe Couture has a preliminary rundown of Saskatchewan NDP politicians who are considering a run for the party’s leadership.
3 WE’RE NOT ANTI-GAY BIGOTS, OH WAIT, MAYBE WE ARE School officials in the apparently redneck-filled town of Altona, Manitoba (population 3,709) say that “small, rainbow-coloured signs” in grade four to six classrooms are too much for the poor delicate children, and must be removed. You know what else is probably too much for kids? Being gay, lesbian or transgendered and stuck in a troglodyte-filled ditch like Altona.
4 VIKILEAKS GUY TO TESTIFY Adam Carroll, the former Liberal staffer who resigned after admitting he was behind the @Vikileaks30 Twitter feed, will testify before the Commons ethics committee. Prairie dog’s Paul Dechene would prefer Carroll not apologize.
5 GREECE-ING THE WHEELS Greece swings the biggest government debt restructuring EVAR.
6 CONSERVATIVES ONLY WANT SOCIAL PROGRAMS WHEN THINGS GO WRONG FOR THEM With all due respect for the very real tragedy David Batters’ widow Denise Batters has been through, and with nothing but the best wishes for success in her drive for a national suicide prevention program: Conservative policies and ideas hurt a lot of people. It bugs the hell out of me when Conservative supporters only call for expanded social programs after something horrible happens to them.
DON’T TELL ME THIS DOESN’T REALLY MATTER Guess which 80s new wavers are playing the Casino toniiiiight? I proclaim that Fun Shall Be Had.