Carrie-May Siggins and I got a letter in the mail this week decrying prairie dog’s adamant* pro-choice stance. As is usually the case with these things, it seems written by a crackpot with galloping cognitive, behavioural and personality disorders who clearly needs therapy and copious anti-psychotics.

Here’s the letter part of the letter (you can see the krazy klippings part in the photo, below):

Dear Stephen,

I knew it would not take you long for to demonize [Conservative MP] Stephen Woodwirth [sic]. His motion to strike a committee to look at the SCIENTIFIC + MEDICAL evidence as to when human life begins, must really threaten you. Why? Don’t you want to know the truth based on scientific fact + proof?

As far as access to murder “non-human” male and female fetusus, is not 2,200 dead “non human” babies in Sask and over 100,000 dead per yr. in Canada not enough for you?

The layers of lies + secrecy + falsehoods are slowly but sure off, it is just a matter of time. And as i told you TRUTH will always come to the surface.

For LIFE,

[Name redacted]

Retired teacher of REL. and Ch. Ethics.

Okay then. That was certainly something. Here’s a photo of the whole, delightful package. My goodness. What effort and creativity.

How to respond? How about: “thanks for the insane letter, you sad, demented freak”? Is that a good start? Why are you so obsessed with embryo and fetus rights? At what point in your life did you decide this is the moral cause to make a stand on? You act like terminating an unwanted (or, presumably) dangerous pregnancy is some kind of immature, thoughtless and selfish act.  As you would know, Captain Wingnut, if you were not a freak, no one likes abortions. They’re generally a big deal to any women considering them — possibly even a bigger deal than they are to you. But being adults living in the 21st century, most of us recognize the need for the option to be safe and legal.

Because we’re reasonable. Your disturbing insistence on railing against them, on the other hand, is not making the world a better place.

Am I getting through? No? Okay weirdo, here’s the deal in plain talk: your offensively simplistic and ladyparts-obsessed characterization of this sensitive issue is loathsome. And the fact that you would, if you had the power, take away all women’s rights to make their own decisions** for their own bodies makes you a reprehensible creep — a warty, troll-like wretch filled with ugly, dimwitted ideas and fizzing with craziness.

And you were a teacher? I can only imaging how many students you traumatized in your career by passing on harebrained misinformation and a sense of shame about their bodies.***

In a nutshell, you are awful and there is no point  conversing with you. Go away and don’t come back until you stop being insane.

Now I’ll respond to your stupid comments anyway.

Woodworth’s bill motion wasn’t remotely about science, you dumbass. It was a sleazy, bureaucratic-minded and doomed move to undermine women’s right to choose (probably permitted because Stephen Harper is well aware that the more ignorant and fucked-up  Conservative supporters — see Saskatoon Dumbolt — gobble up this crap). And if you knew anything, you tragic dolt, you’d know it’s impossible to scientifically establish a meaningful  point at which a fetus is “human”, and the only reason to play this game, Mr. Fucko, is to give Team Bible Crazy a legal weapon to fight reproductive choice.

It’s not science, it’s politics. Nice try, it didn’t work, you lose. Reasonable grown-up people all agree that a pregnant woman’s rights supercede the potential life she’s incubating.

Also, embryos aren’t “babies” no matter how many times you say it, buttknob.

Now here’s the fun thing: From watching U.S. politics over the last few years, we’ve learned that given encouragement, the anti-abortion crowd will attack birth control, sex out of wedlock and whatever else their pathetic little Puritan brains latch onto (give ’em time and they’d probably go after women’s right to vote). I’m having a blast watching these medieval-minded creeps implode. So are lots of smart people. Ha ha ha! They suck! We win!

It’s also abundantly clear like the only ethical issues so-called “pro-lifers” care about are biological and reproductive, but they’re all terrible at it. To address Pastor chastity, again: You’re not encouraging sex ed, birth control, condom use, or even basic sexual manners, self-esteem and decency–all things that would lead to happier people and fewer unwanted pregnancies, you idiot. Further, while you could’ve heroically devoted your life to fighting poverty, famine (if you cared about humans after they’d popped out of the womb, which you obviously don’t), sickness, whatever, you didn’t. No, you and your ilk are just sex-spooked kooks obsessed with what vaginas** are doing.

You’re all cracked. Off your rockers. Mad as a dozen hatters. Bonkers. And we (the not-crazy) are well aware that you fight as hard as you do to avoid dealing with your own crazy issues.

I’m really sorry that you’re nuts — really, I am — but we’re in a tough spot. You refuse to get help and insist on parading your wacky ideas through the 21st century that the rest of us are trying to figure out how to live in, and it’s annoying at best and dangerous at worst.

I’m going to have to ask you to go away. Shoo!

And that’s the news from this week’s PD mailbag.

*It’s the root word in Adamantium, the indestructible metal in Wolverine’s skeleton!

** Including choosing to have a baby sometimes!

*** Obviously, the same was done to you once upon a time. I’m genuinely sorry you never got the help you needed. We need to break the cycle of ignorance, superstition and stupidity that creates injured people like you. But you still suck.

**** You’re probably obsessed with gay men’s bums, too — which said gay men find creepy as all fuck.