1 IT’S BECAUSE GUNS DON’T KILL PEOPLE, COMPUTERS KILL PEOPLE On the day the Conservative government gets rid of the long gun registry because it was an invasion of privacy, the government introduces legislation that assumes everyone with a computer is a potential kiddie porn distributor. But is it really about preventing the distribution of kiddie porn? Or is it more likely about allowing governments and spy agencies to monitor, Stasi-like, any groups that the government doesn’t like, even if they are behaving in a more-or-less democratic and peaceful fashion? Maybe Harpo thinks he’s Batman.
2 YOU HAVE TO ADMIT, IT TAKES THE ATTENTION OFF THE DEPARTMENT OF NATIONAL DEFENCE Somebody told you a couple of years ago that the F-35 Lightning II was an expensive and a very poor choice for the next generation of Canadian fighter aircraft. But did they listen to me? Oh no. Not until it’s too late. That’s the price you pay when some testosterone-laden men with a 10-year-old boy’s mentality buy something while doing less research than my wife and I did when we bought a used mini-van. Now, Julian Fantino must take it that the cost over-runs and the Americans’ reluctance to fast-track purchasing the plane is a sign from God.
3 WHAT PELE CALLED THE BEAUTIFUL GAME IS LOOKING PRETTY FUGUGLY RIGHT NOW One of the most storied sports clubs in the world, Glasgow-based Rangers FC, is drowning in a sea of red ink. They owe the Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs about 90 million pounds sterling, sold off their season ticket for the next four years to keep their doors open, and now they are in administration (the British legal term for bankruptcy protection). Part of the reason they’re in trouble like this is thanks to an off-shore tax shelter system that the British courts say is illegal. And at least one Chinese soccer referee is going to face an ugly day, and Paul James (a member of the only Canadian team to compete at a World Cup) comes clean on a real rough life.
4 RIDERS TRY TO BOLSTER THEIR O-LINE Brendan Labatte is going to be joining the Riders, which combined with the Rider’s probable first round draft pick (a U of S grad whose name currently escapes me) means Darian Durant won’t be doing his work laying flat on his back. But with Cary Koch and (probably) Andy Fantuz leaving, it’s a good question who besides Weston Dressler is going to be catching the ball.
5 NOTHING LIKE TALKING TO THE EXPERTS An-all-male group of House Republicans in the U.S convenes a group of all-male speakers to tell everyone that an all-male clergy in the Vatican should set birth control policies. Funny. Last Time I checked, it took two to get pregnant.
6 MEANWHILE AT THE GUARDIAN AND THE INDEPENDENT, THE COPY’S COMING IN LATE FOR THE NEXT EDITION BECAUSE THE EDITORS ARE LAUGHING THEMSELVES SILLY Anyone who knows anything about the London tabloids knows that The Sun is rabidly pro-Tory, anti-union, and anti-European Community. So, in the latest round of arrests in the fallout of the Rupert Murdoch phone-hacking scandal, it’s reverse logic to … oh hell, let The Independent say it:
YOUR MUSICAL MOMENT OF ZEN Hawksley Workman with one of the greatest road trip/love songs every written, Safe and Sound.