1 OH, WE ONLY CLOSE THE NON-CHRISTIAN SCHOOLS The head of Regina’s public school board, which voted to close two schools last week for low enrolment, sends her own kids to a private an associate Christian school possibly similar to this one that charges between $2,570 and $6,594 in yearly tuition. “The issue is that she’s chosen with her feet to walk away from the public system, but she’s making these decisions that affect other people’s children in the city,” says school activist Bob Hughes in Emma Graney’s story.

2 ROGERS BUYS SCN Saskatchewan will get 700 per cent perkier with the arrival of City TV. And all we had to do was sell off our public broadcaster to a company that in turn flipped it to the cable giant for an undisclosed amount pending inevitable regulatory approval.

3 TRUTH AND RECONCILIATION HEARINGS CONTINUE Want to know what it was like in the government-funded, church-managed residential school system? People who lived through the often less-than peachy experience will share their stories through tomorrow.

4 CANADA’S PREMIERS SQUABBLE SOMEWHAT Provincial leaders aren’t happy with the federal government’s health care funding decrees but they differ in their degree of discontent.

5 CANADIAN SHOT REALLY, REALLY DEAD IN MEXICO Salid Abdulacis Sabas was shot nine times with .45 calibre bullets from a “high -powered rifle”. A connection to the drug trade is suspected. Good thing we’ve got a world-wide regime of scientifically-proven-effective drug prohibition, because if we didn’t this guy wouldn’t have to be dead.

6 IT’S ACTUALLY COLD Brrr! Bright side: I’m not constantly reminded that humans are breaking the climate every time I step outside.

BONUS NEWS: That cruise ship captain is in so much trouble, plus student journalists at The Sheaf got hella Norwalked like some Carillon counterparts, and is Stephen Harper implying that real Canadians like pipelines?, plus there hasn’t been a military coup in Pakistan yet, also the judge who ordered Chilean pieceofshit ex-dictator Pinochet to be arrested goes on trial, and Muhammad Ali turns 70, and hey, Canada has some espionage drama, plus Greek transportation workers strike to protest austerity measures, plus apparently it’s a good time to get a mortgage (as long as we don’t talk about overheated home prices), and here’s a cool story about Thailand’s high-flying ladyboys, also Mitt Romney and Ron Paul win Facebook, plus more freaky Ron Paul racial theories, plus there was another stupid Republican debate, and an independent panel will look into Japan’s Fukushima nuclear disaster, and Human Rights Watch says Canada should tell Ethiopia to smarten up, and finally, enjoy your Internet today–a lot of it will be turned off tomorrow to protest evil and stupid copyright legislation. And that includes Wikipedia.

MORE COLBERT! Huzzah!