1 PARTNERS IN SLIME British Prime Minister David Cameron and his government is helping Canadian PM Stephen Harper and his government fight European resistance to our disgusting, climate-ruining tarsands. Here, read some more about that. And have you heard about the Conservative government’s plans to totally bail on Kyoto? Neat. And people are maaad. Meanwhile, the UN climate conference is opening in Durban, South Africa. Wonder how that’s going to go with so many countries still pretending global warming is pretend? Well, here’s what you need to know.

2 THE THIRD WORLD IS HERE The Red Cross is mobilizing to help the northern Ontario First Nations reserve Attawapiskat, where people are living in tents in winter conditions because the reserve’s infrastructure is so fucked up. Most people will care because this is horrible — by the way, here’s info on how to help — but even the goons out there must realize this is anĀ embarrassmentĀ for Canada.

3 TODAY IN THE MIDDLE EAST Elections in Egypt and reports of horrific torture and child murder in Syria.

4 THE WAR ON DRUGS IS RIDICULOUS Last spring, an Arizona SWAT team shot the hell out of an alleged drug trafficker in TusconTucson. Almost seven months later there have been no arrests. Oh, and this so-called drug lord — who was blown away while his kid watched cartoons in Spider-Man jammies — didn’t have any drugs in his house. All the horrifying details you want here. And look for a good column on how stupid the War On Drugs is in Thursday’s prairie dog.

5 SASK ON TRACK FOR SURPLUS Our magical boom does has its uses.

6 HOW LOW CAN MURDOCH GO? How about paying a 13-year-old musical phenom with promises of good press rather than money in Murdoch-owned media? Allegedly?

IN OTHER NEWS: Some football team did something, The Washington Capitals fired Bruce Boudreau while the Carolina Hurricanes dumped Paul Maurice, one of the good ones is leaving U.S. federal politics — as a candidate at least — and finally, a great filmmaker has passed away. R.I.P., Ken Russell.