Wandered through the new 12th Ave Plaza this evening. First time I’ve been there around sundown now that the lights have been working.
So, what’s with all the red? A Grove of Lightsabers is one thing. But a Grove of SITH Lightsabers?!?! Who down at city hall is so strong with the Dark Side that they’d think this was a good idea??*
Could it be the guy who decided that they’d decorate this brand new plaza — with its imported cobblestones, cutting edge design, and grabillions spent on rusty steel fixtures — that they’d accent all that with Cheep-O Brand™ Plastic Planters (in a delightful shade of not-quite terra cotta).
Plastic: ever the classy choice.
Apparently, back in the original plans for the plaza, along the edges of where the cars could drive, there were two rows of bollards.
(Oh, sorry. What’s a bollard? Those are those low, concrete, cylindrical, penissy stump-things that you see at corners or along streets sometimes. They’re useful for keeping cars from escaping their laneway. And they’d be great in this plaza seeing as there are no curbs to keep the cars and pedestrians from careening into one another.)
Well, the bollards are gone. And we’re getting big plastic bowls instead to mark out where the “roadway” will be.
And if you’re wondering how they’ll delineate the lanes, well, they’ve stuck a curvy line of plastic reflectors down the middle of the plaza. And they’ve affixed those reflectors to the cobblestones — imported cobblestones — with splooges of epoxy goop.
Because nothing says “elegant plaza” like plastic bowls, orange reflectors and splooges of goop.
Ah well, at least it’s not just the graffiti kids shitting the place up anymore.
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*Note: Okay, okay. The lightsaber pillars actually change colour from Sith red to Jedi blue. Like maybe the plaza is conflicted about it allegiance.