1 WEEKEND UPDATE Our government legislated Canada Post employees back to work, which is funny because I seem to recall that they stopped working when Canada Post locked them out. Apparently in this country your employer can threaten to gut wages for new hires and re-write pension plans and recklessly harm their own company by shutting it down but workers don’t have the right to engage in even¬†limited labour action. But who cares, right? Mail should start again tomorrow. Also, there’s a must-read article in The Guardian about some U.S. states criminalizing still-births and sending women to jail. And here’s an article about abortion¬†restrictions in a bunch of states. On the bright side, the state of New York legalized gay marriage and oh wait, ¬†some Christian leaders are being assholes about it.

2 OWLS IN DANGER The bizarro weather is a threat to Saskatchewan’s endangered burrowing owl.

3 FRANCE, BANKS AND GREECE French banks agree to stretch out repayment terms on Greece’s ginormous debt.

4 TO LIBYA, AND BEYOND Canada’s foreign affairs minister, John Baird, delivers trauma kits to Libyan rebels. Meanwhile, Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi is sought for crimes against humanity.

5 ANOTHER BATSHIT-MAD REPUBLICAN WANTS TO BE PRESIDENT Dead-eyed psychopath Michele Bachmann, a Republican congresswoman from Minnesota, has literally compared public health care to slavery, is scientifically and historically illiterate, wants to abolish the minimum wage and is of course opposed to women making their own choices for their own bodies, wants control of the U.S. nuclear arsenal.

6 SAN FRANCISCO IS THINKING ABOUT BANNING THE SALE OF PETS Arrrgh. As a reptile fan who has a well-loved and cared for, cute-as-a-button, fit and feisty 16-year-old kingsnake named Fred, I gotta say sometimes I really, really despise animal rights activists. Extremism makes it impossible to have real conversations about regulations that would improve the welfare of captive animals. (Also, factual error in the story: many if not most captive snakes eat pre-killed mice.)

SEXY SEXY BONUS NEWS: There’s fuss about pole dancing at the Gaslight Saloon. I say if they’re not naked it’s not stripping. Let’s have a video!