According to my dictionary, the word “epicure” means “a person with refined tastes, especially in food or drink”.

David Ramsay, who writes The Epicure’s Fork for the Leader-Post might well be an epicure. But you sure can’t tell by the content of his weekly puff-pieces.

The Epicure’s Fork appears every Friday in the Leader-Post. Ramsay’s column is a tragic, under-seasoned and half-collapsed souffle — basically a boring business profile with a huge photo. I’m not sure what it’s supposed to be doing, but it’s obviously sure as hell not a restaurant review, as those have a little thing called criticism.

Did I say boring? That’s mean, I should let you judge for yourself. From today’s column about the restaurant Bavarian Forest:

Despite having strong German roots, Viktor and his wife, Olga, were attracted by the Canadian lifestyle and eventually made the decision to emigrate to this country.

About two years ago, they arrived in Regina, which they chose after travelling extensively through Western Canada. They saw an opportunity here to open an authentic Bavarian-style restaurant in a province with a large German population.

About a year ago, Victor started an extensive renovation of what had previously zzzzzzzzz.

Snore. About a year ago I fell asleep reading this junk. Dull as dust and an insult to the intelligence of Leader-Post readers (not to mention an embarrassment to the paper’s legitimate writers).

Every week  this column reads exactly like advertorial copy — to the point one wonders if Ramsay lets the owners of whatever restaurant is that week’s subject proof his columns. It’s not just appalling, it’s offensive to anyone interested in real criticism because it lowers the standards of critical discourse — I mean, just look at this one. Or this one. Or this one. I love a couple of these places and I wouldn’t publish this simpering pap.

Making things even more gruesome is the fact that Bavarian Forest is the subject of today’s daily Swarm Jam promotion. Maybe it’s a coincidence, maybe it’s not. You can decide for yourself. I’m guessing coincidence because I find it hard to believe that a respected, nearly 125-year-old daily newspaper would trash its credibility by exchanging favourable articles for a few crummy ad dollars.

This column needs to be cancelled. That’s all there is to it.