Deal with it, mo-fos!

This is my body (over there—see it?). I have lived in this body my whole life. I have wanted to change this body my whole life. I have never wanted anything as much as I have wanted a new body. I am aware every day that other people find my body disgusting. I always thought that some day—when I finally stop failing—I will become smaller, and when I become smaller literally everything will get better (I’ve heard It Gets Better)! My life can begin! I will get the clothes that I want, the job that I want, the love that I want. It will be great! Think how great it will be to buy some pants or whatever at J. Crew. Oh, man. Pants. Instead, my body stays the same.

There is not a fat person on earth who hasn’t lived this way. Clearly this is a TERRIBLE WAY TO EXIST. Also, strangely enough, it did not cause me to become thin. So I do not believe any of it anymore, because fuck it very much.

And that’s just the beginning.

Context: West is a film critic and all-purpose comedian at The Stranger, one of two Seattle alt-weeklies and frankly, one of the best damn magazines on the continent. The senior editor at The Stranger is Dan Savage, the funniest and arguably best sex advice columnist in the world, as well as the founder of the It Gets Better Project.

Savage, a good-looking 40-something gay guy who works out a lot, is known for blunt and funny statements.  Sometimes he directs his wit at weight and obesity. In his defence, Savage is a strong advocate for healthy living and healthy eating and a raging critic of junk food and high fructose corn syrup and the lobbyists who fight for them, and good for him for that. He is absolutely sympathetic to the fact that not everyone is born with modelesque bone structure and genes. But he doesn’t have a lot of patience for the United States’ obesity epidemic and he sure does use the word “fat” a lot.

West works in Savage’s office. She is 263 pounds. She is a smart and hilarious writer. Her ferociously crass Sex In The City 2 review is awe-inspiring. Her review of The Eagle ran under the headline “Penis Penis Penis”. If it matters, she also looks great:

Savage recently wrote a blog post suggesting that if gay marriage should be outlawed because legal gay marriages would perpetrate an unhealthy lifestyle — this is an honest-to-god argument some idiots use, by the way — then fat marriage should also be outlawed. As usual he makes a good point, but readers who struggle with weight probably weren’t laughing. In fact, they probably felt like they’re just collateral damage in Savage’s campaign against homophobic shenanigans.

Lindy West remarked on his post, obviously peeved. And then she cut loose, and blogged a cap in his skinny ass. And it was glorious.

That’s a lot of background info for one link, so thanks for your patience with this post. It’s only February but in my books Lindy West’s Statement Of Fat is a leading candidate for Best Alt-Weekly Blog Post of 2011. Check it out!