1 SO, SO CRAZY The United States and South Korea aren’t sitting down for chats with North Korea. In other news, North Korea continues to be insane.

2 SO, SO CRAZY, PT. 2 After eight years of being a mistreatment while in custody, an American geologist charged with stealing China state secrets had a hearing yesterday. American officials were denied access. Gives you a lot of faith in the process.

3 WISCONSIN HOSTAGES UNHARMED The same can’t be said for the 15-year-old student who was holding them hostage.

4 ONE MORE CONTENDER Jim Elliott has announced that he’ll be running for mayor of Regina once again. Quoting a friend of mine, “Good luck Sisyphus.”

5 EDMONTON PD TAXI SERVICE A video has surfaced of Edmonton police officers giving a ride to B.C. Lions cheerleaders. A police inspector is cool with it. I guess they just couldn’t get any fan love, unlike the Riders:

6 EWW The Literary Review Bad Sex award has been given to Rowan Somerville. From the Guardian U.K.:

The judges were also impressed by his nature notes, such as the pubic hair “like desert vegetation following an underground stream”, and the passage: “He unbuttoned the front of her shirt and pulled it to the side so that her breast was uncovered, her nipple poking out, upturned like the nose of the loveliest nocturnal animal, sniffing the night. He took it between his lips and sucked the salt from her.”

BONUS Ralph Goodale talks about his WikiLeaks shout outs; questioning rap as poetry; raucous showdown between the Dutch Embassy and the NYPD; and messianic Jewish organizations face off.

And the headline of the day: “EU to launch Google search investigation“.