6-in-the-morning1 LOCK THE DOORS, HIDE THE CHILDREN A Winnipegger in a Regina hospital was held captive and tortured for months and a Toronto teen opens his door and is fatally shot in the face. (Winnipeg Free Press, Globe and Mail)

2 NO SAFE INJECTION SITE FOR SASK An official from the Saskatoon health region says a safe injection site isn’t “the relevant response” to HIV infection rates that have quadrupled in the last five years because addicts shoot up at home. Instead of, I guess, the safe injection sites that don’t exist. Because I guess addicts are better off shooting up in their homes where we don’t have to notice them. (CBC)

3 NOW WITH FIVE PER CENT LESS CLUSTERFUCK The official corporation of environmental apocalypses has successfully diverted some of the oil gushing into the Gulf Of Mexico into a pipe going to a boat. Huzzah I guess. Oh wait, underwater oil plumes suggest the disaster is worse than feared. Meanwhile, offshore drilling is discussed in Canada. Here’s where we’re at on this stuff. (New York Times, the Guardian, The Hill Times)

4 THAILAND: SHIT IS REAL When parts of Bangkok are under a shoot-anything-that-moves-on-sight order you know things are bad. Here’s the Guardian’s live blog on the crisis.

5 A JACKASS  CARDINAL SAYS SOMETHING EVIL AND IDIOTIC Abortion is not justified even if  a pregnancy was the result of rape, says Canadian Cardinal Marc Oullett  (CBC). Ah, yes: the Roman Catholic Church: official sponsor of forced pregnancy. Don’t you guys have little boys to molest?

6 RONNIE JAMES DIO: R.I.P. Holy crap. Didn’t even know he was sick. Going to have to dig up Nigel’s old Heaven and Hell cover from March, 2007 now. Anyway, here’s this for fans, swiped from the YooToobs.