Musings and more from the corner of Vic and Hamilton

BONUS COLUMN by a Verb street box


FRIDAY, JULY 31 Dear diary: It’s new issue day! Love it! I always get super excited when someone loads me up with a dozen copies of the latest Verb, “hot off the press”. It’s not literally hot of course, LOL!

SUNDAY, AUG. 2 Dear diary: Hey, this issue’s strange — almost every story is reprinted from earlier Verbs. Huh, it says one of their writers has a new job and the others are on vacation? Well, who doesn’t deserve a good vacation? I know I could use one! LOL j/k, newspaper boxes don’t get vacations.

WEDNESDAY, AUG. 5 Dear diary: A lot of people ask me what’s it like being a Verb street box. Mostly pretty good! Oh sure, it’s not a perfect existence — sometimes some douche-nozzle opens my door and throws garbage into me, and once in awhile some teenage punk from a nice house in a new suburb rides up on his stolen bike and spray paints a half-assed tag on me. But all in all, pretty minor stuff. The weather? Love it! I guess it’s a little cold in winter but right now it’s hot — hot as a new issue of Verb! LOL!

FRIDAY, AUG. 7 Dear diary: Kind of weird — I haven’t had any new newspapers put in me yet and it’s almost midnight. The Prairie Dog box right beside me got its papers yesterday. Well, I’m sure I’ll have papers tomorrow. The people need their Verb ‘coz it’s an action word! Grammar joke, LOL.

SATURDAY AUG. 8 Dear diary: Where are my Verbs? Readers need interviews with bands playing Saskatoon shows three weeks from now. Hashtag: annoyed.

SUNDAY, AUG. 9 Dear diary: Still no new Verbs but some dude with yellow teeth wearing socks and sandals put a pro-life pamphlet in the Prairie Dog box. LOL!

MONDAY, AUG. 10 Dear diary: Some ass-hat tossed his empty coffee cup in me. Do I look like a freaking garbage can? Still no papers.

THURSDAY, AUG. 13 Where the fuck are my newspapers?

FRIDAY, AUG. 14 Dear diary: It’s been a couple of weeks without a new Verb. Maybe there was a mix-up? Maybe there’s a new delivery person and they don’t know I’m here? Some other reason? Whatever happens, I know one thing: my positive attitude will get me through whatever’s going on. I’m sure by tomorrow those papers will show up. Power of positive thinking FTW!

SUNDAY, AUG. 16 Well, fuck.

The Verb street box on the south-east corner of Victoria and Hamilton is not your garbage can.