31 not-sex reasons a woman might go home with a hockey star

FEATURE by Megan Seling

Graphic by Nigel Hood

It’s likely you’ve heard the news — NHL star Patrick Kane of the Chicago Blackhawks has been accused of raping a woman at his Buffalo, N.Y. home. There’s very little official information available at this time as authorities await forensic results, and, as of right now, Kane hasn’t been charged with any crime. But The Buffalo News is reporting that a source close to the investigation claimed the hockey player allegedly forced himself on the woman after she and her friend went to his house after meeting him at a bar.

While it’s understandable Kane fans would want to wait to hear more conclusive evidence before completely jumping ship, instead of seeing how the active investigation plays out, a lot of people are working out their shocked emotions by questioning the woman’s motives for going home with him. Never mind the fact that Kane was charged with “second-degree robbery, fourth-degree criminal mischief and theft of services” after an altercation with a cab driver in 2009, and allegedly choking a woman in 2011 — in an effort to not have to face the shitty realization that a good hockey player might not be a good person, Kane fans are blaming the woman for his own (alleged) bad behavior.

Blaming the victim isn’t a new tactic, of course. So many times, when a woman claims she was sexually assaulted, harassed or raped, someone will inevitably ask a question that really equates to saying “What’d you do to make him do that to you?” Common examples: “What were you wearing?” “What’d you say to him?” “Were you drunk?” “Were you flirting with him?” “Did you make him angry?” “Why were you walking alone at night?” “Shouldn’t you have called a cab?” “Didn’t you have a friend who could’ve taken you home?”

In this case, a lot of people are asking “Why did she go to Kane’s house if she didn’t want to sleep with him?” as though the only reason a woman would go home with a man after a night of drinking is because she was going to have sex with him.

Seriously, people? Wouldn’t you go to Kane’s house if he invited you over? I despise Kane and even I would take him up on that offer. He’s a millionaire with a rad house! What if he has an outdoor pizza oven? Or an infinity pool! I’d want to see what kind of place he lives in, and I bet you would, too. And sex would have nothing to do with it.

It seems not everyone agrees, though. Twitter is full of Kane defenders — like @TayShocks, who said

“Why would you go home with a drunk Patrick Kane and expect nothing sexual to happen? Dumdum”, and @SouthyChiSwagR, who opined “Leaves bar hanging on the man, in his house at 4am… gold digging bitch had ‘fuck me’ written on her forehead!”, and @JeremyWillll, who wrote “So some girl gets wasted at a bar, goes home and has sex with Patty Kane then accuses him of rape?! Lol dumb bitch”.

Look, assholes, if you really can’t think of a non-sexual reason why a woman would go to a man’s house, ask yourself why a straight man would go to another man’s house and — poof — you have your answer. To make it even easier, though, I’ve also compiled a helpful list. Bookmark it. And next time before you yell at a woman for allowing herself to wind up in a situation that (in this case, allegedly) resulted in rape, ask yourself this: “Is it possible that she was there for any other reason other than to have sex?” Of course. The answer is of course. I promise you, the answer is always of course.

If you can think of even more reasons (I’m sure you can!) leave them in the comments or tweet them at me, @mseling, using the hashtag #WhySheWentToHisHouse.

31 Reasons A Woman Would Go Home With Patrick Kane That Don’t Involve Sex

  1. He’s a rich, famous hockey star and she wanted to see what kind of a house a rich, famous hockey star lives in.
  2. To watch Netflix.
  3. To go swimming in his infinity pool.
  4. She’s an entomologist and he has a really cool bug collection.
  5. She’s an interior designer and he was hoping to remodel his kitchen, so he asked her to come over and give her professional advice on how to streamline the layout so he no longer had to walk across the giant kitchen with a heavy pot filled with boiling water every time he made pasta. (Put the stove next to the sink, duh.)
  6. Both her car and phone batteries were dead and the bar was closing and because they’d already been hanging out that night, he offered to drive her and her friend to his house, just 10 minutes away, so she could charge up her phone and wait for AAA.
  7. They were hungry, and she’s a chef, so she was going to make her famous pork belly nachos.
  8. To buy his extra Taylor Swift ticket.
  9. He has an outdoor pizza oven and promised to make some awesome pizza.
  10. He just got a new puppy and, like, who wouldn’t want to go play with a puppy?
  11. He has a pool table and she’s a champion pool player and he bet her $5,000 she couldn’t beat him.
  12. He’s pals with Dre and snagged an early copy of Straight Outta Compton.
  13. She thought he was genuinely a nice and funny person and wanted to keep hanging out with him because hanging out with funny, nice people is fun.
  14. He was too drunk to drive and because she’s a kind human she drove his car to his house to make sure he got home safely and then was going to call a cab back to bar.
  15. She’s a hairdresser and he had an early-morning presentation at work but was in dire need of a haircut because his usual stylist cancelled on him earlier that day so she offered to make him look sharp before the big meeting.
  16. He has an indoor trampoline room and holy cow, that sounds like a lot of fun.
  17. He found a cat in the alley who just had kittens and her cat had passed away about six months earlier, so he offered to let her come meet the kittens to see if it was a good time to adopt a new lil’ friend.
  18. She’s was going to try to sell him on a timeshare.
  19. She’s a Scientologist and was hoping to convert him.
  20. She’s a Christian and was hoping to convert him.
  21. She’s a Mormon and was hoping to convert him.
  22. She’s a Jehovah’s Witness and was hoping to convert him.
  23. She’s a vegan and was hoping to convert him.
  24. While at the bar they started talking about how fucked up Donald Trump’s comments were in the GOP debate and he had recorded it, so they were going to go re-watch it and laugh at what a turd that guy is.
  25. His weekly fresh produce box was just delivered but he was leaving town the next day so she was going over to pick it up so the farm-grown vegetables didn’t just go to waste.
  26. To play Scrabble. What’s wrong with Scrabble?
  27. He wants to sell his house and she’s a real estate agent and offered to possibly take him on as a client.
  28. He wanted to show off his alternate cover of David Bowie’s Diamond Dogs record, the one with the dog balls on it that’s worth, like, $7,000.
  29. To do drugs.
  30. To keep drinking because — SHOCKING — sometimes people want to keep drinking even after the bars close.
  31. What the fuck does it matter why she went to his house? If a woman accepts a man’s invitation to hang out at his house, that doesn’t mean the man has the right to force himself on her. Even if she was flirting with him. Even if she was wearing a mini skirt. Even if she was drunk. Even if she seemed like she maybe wanted to have sex with him earlier in the night. Even if she started making out with him and then changed her mind.Even if he’s a rich, famous hockey player.

This column originally appeared on Pith In The Wind, Nashville Scene’s news blog, at www.nashvillescene.com. Follow Megan on twitter: @mseling.