NO BARBERS AT THE TOSCHE STATION
To my buddy who cuts his own hair because he’s a cheap bastard: stop cutting your own hair, you cheap bastard! There’s only one legitimate haircut for do-it-yourself stylists and that’s buzzed/shaved. Are you buzzing your hair right down? No, you’re not. Are you shaving your head? NO. You look like Prince Valiant or the psychopath from No Country For Old Men. This is ridiculous. You’re a grown-up man living in a city, not some squeaky dough-head hick bullseyeing womp rats in his T-16 back home. You can afford real haircuts from real hair-cutting professionals. Go get one or I’ll get a posse together and we’ll shave your head balder than Lobot’s. /Anonymous
CHOP THE MOP Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously over-share their stories and feelings: we suggest true tales of failed romance and exasperating interpersonal situations, rants about trivial pet peeves and petty injustices, constructive criticism for complete strangers, or even anonymous gratitude for something nice someone did. In a pinch we’ll even print secret messages to your friends. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change all the names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words long and will be edited, though hopefully not much.
*QCC submissions are NOT letters to the editor. Send (signed!) praise, criticism and general comments on Prairie Dog articles — including this — to email@example.com.